My husband and I are learning how to be with each other. I realize that may sound silly and you might say, don’t you think that’s something you should have had down before getting married? Kris and I have never been the couple who didn’t know what it was like to never be apart. We started our relationship long distance and when I moved to Detroit, we both worked crazy, long hours. That carried into our marriage until I had to quit my job due to my first pregnancy wreaking havoc on my body. We didn’t plan it, but Kris switched from 2nd shift to 3rd shift right around the birth of Izzie. He has been on 3rd shift ever since working anywhere from 68 to 80 hours a week at Chrysler and then all the extra hours at Heritage on top of that.
Obviously, we spent enough time together to know that we wanted to spend the rest of lives with each other, but we didn’t know everything about each other when we got married and in fact, we’re still learning a lot about each other. I think it’s impossible to completely know someone before committing the rest of your life to that person. We go through life experiences that change us, sharpen our character, reveal things to us about ourselves that we may have not known before. Putting ourselves in a position where we didn’t go through some of those experiences together, meaning really being there for each other, definitely made things more challenging for us.
We had a date two nights in a row this weekend. This has never happened before. Our first date at the Tigers game was great. It was ridiculously hot, but we had fun. Our second date at the Fischer Music Center was all downhill. We were both frustrated. Sometimes when I get upset I freeze and just go quiet. It freaks Kris out more than any other reaction I have because I’m not exactly a quiet person. When I go silent he knows that I’m really upset and most likely mulling over everything in my head and collecting my thoughts before choosing my words wisely. After the event we sat in the truck and had a long and productive talk while we waited for the line of cars in the parking lot to clear out. We worked it out and talked about what we can do to help each other, whether we’re on a date or a family night out.
We are going to make date nights and family nights a priority no matter what. The only way we’re going to grow closer as a family is to spend time together. I know right? Our children are getting older and they need both of us. One or both parents on the sidelines of their lives isn’t going to cut it. Whether Kris is the one away from home working or if ever something happened and I was the one working away from home, we have to be a family who spends time together and shares our lives with each other. Although we both wished it hadn’t taken so long, we’re thankful that something is being done about it now. You can’t change the past but you can change the future. We are going to make sure that our future as a family is a solid one.